Like Old Times
by Slashified
Summary: Two friends wish to rekindle their old friendship. Why pursue this? There are more reasons then they think. [ SpinnerMarco ]
1. Default Chapter

**A/N: **_**!!PLEASE READ THIS NOTE!!**_** Don't judge me by this little message. This is just to keep myself from being mobbed with angry "YOU KNOW NOTHING" E-mails, and reviews. I'm not a HUGE fan of Degrassi. I have seen the show a total( I am not joking when I say this) of 7 times. And they were not very Marco-Centric Episodes. They were all Spinner/Paige-Centric episodes. Now, having said this, I will say this: This is my first Degrassi FanFiction ever(Not my first fan-fiction, though. D). Watching the show, I became instantly attracted to the character of Spinner. His personality, and the thoughts you could see working in his mind seemed very interesting to me. I searched for Degrassi Slash fictions that night, and found a couple I liked. I like the ideas they slightly touched upon. The relationship of Marco and Spinner seemed incredible to embellish on. The already existing "True" friendship (The friendship played out on the show) seemed to be able to go deeper than it already had. What I am saying is: There is always more than there seems. Always delve deeper, as it makes things more enjoyable. The ideas I found interesting will be used, as I see fit to this fiction. This is my main problem. I know little to nothing about this television show. Any mistakes I make, please, e-mail me at , and tell me what I did. I will fix it and make the boo-boo all better D. **

**Having said that HUGE schpiel, this fiction takes place pre-Spinner/Paige Break Up (I saaww that episoooddee!) **

**Thank you for your understanding, hope you enjoy the fiction.**

English had just begun. The day had just started, and the faces of all the students in the class room were still droopy, and tired looking. The students, as if they were all one entity, reached for their book bags and pulled out their notebooks, as their teacher began writing the quote on the blackboard. Everyday was the same. The teacher writes a quote on the board, and all the students interpret the quote whatever way they can, relating it back to the reading that was to be finished the night before. Marco Del Rossi, of course, had done the reading, and knew exactly how to relate this back. Gavin 'Spinner' Mason, had not, and had no intention to. He had an excuse, however. He had to work the day before, and this seemed, to him, to be a viable excuse. "Mr. Mason…" The teachers voice rang loudly, and all the students raised their heads from their, either return to sleep, or in the case of Marco, their book work. "You seem to be doing nothing…do you not remember the daily routine? Or do I have to remind you?" Spinner shook his head. "No ma'am. I know exactly what I'm s'posed to be doing."

"This baffles me then, Gavin. Why aren't you working?" She began that slow teacherly "I'm going to embarrass the shit out of you" walk to his desk. Spinner knew the answer, he had been working. There were other things besides school. "Well, I didn't do the reading, and you always say, y'know, if you don't read, don't bother doing the journal entry." She had finally reached his desk, and looked down on him with those dark blue eyes, trying to make him feel like a huge douche. 'Oh man, do I feel like a douche…' Thought Spinner, quickly. Teachers got to him in a big way. "And _why_, Gavin, didn't you do your work?" Her icy voice horrified him. He knew he should've done the work. He had so much time between work and sleep, but that _fuckin'_ hockey game **had** to be on. Suddnely, "I was working" didn't seem like such a wonderful excuse anymore. He had to tell the truth. No he didn't. That's **bullshit**! He could bullshit some excuse and get away with it right quick! "My uhh…Goldfish…um..died." He blurted out. As soon as he said this, the entire class broke out into giggles, and one smart ass shouted out "NOOO GOOLLDDIIEE!" as if to be mocking Spinner's mock pain, and the class laughed even harder. "Shut up, dude. It's not funny, and her name was Missy." He joked, and the class laughed again. Marco, however didn't. This wasn't funny to him. It was just Spinner making up some more excuses to be stupid. He knew Spinner was a smart kid when he tried. He just wasn't trying. Spinner noticed Marco didn't laugh, and he didn't like that. Making people laugh was what Spinner was best at, and if he couldn't make everyone laugh, especially Marco, that was a failure. Marco was one of his best friends, and making him laugh was usually so easy.

"As funny as that seemed in your head, Gavin, that wasn't funny – **at all**. I'll see you after class." At this the whole class "Ooooooo"-ed, that annoying "Oooo". Spinner looked quickly to Marco, and he didn't "Ooo" Like he usually would have, he was working. Why was this getting so badly to Spinner? He had no idea but it was. "Continue working, class." The teacher shouted, and the class calmed down, aside from a couple of trouble makers in the back, who seemed to have taken a liking to making fun of Spinner's imaginary gold fish.

All throughout the rest of that day, Spinner could go nowhere without hearing "NOOOO MIIISSSYY!" He enjoyed this. He loved laughing with people he never knew. He even decided to embarrass his girlfriend, Paige, during lunch by breaking down to the cashier in the lunch line. "$2.88" She stated, and he searched his pockets for his money, but of course, his pockets held nothing but a half a stick of gum. All of his money was in his wallet. "I forgot…" He said weakly and then began to "cry". "I FORGOT MY MONEY 'CAUSE I WAS THINKING ABOUT MY GOLDFISH MISSY!!" He shouted and than dramatically dropped to his knees and screamed "MMIIISSSYY!!" The entire cafeteria erupted into laughter. Paige found this as funny as Marco, who was standing next to her, and she laid down six one dollar coins, and pulled her boyfriend to the lunch table where Jimmy had already been seated. Jimmy, was of course, laughing hysterically. Paige and Marco were not. Again, this bothered Spinner. It didn't bother him that Paige wasn't laughing. **He could care less**. The fact that _Marco_ wasn't laughing hurt him in a sense that he had never hurt before. It was a strange feeling of…not being accepted. The four ate their lunch with the usual chatter being focused between Paige and Marco about their weekend plans with their boyfriends, and Spinner and Jimmy about video games. Marco would jump into their conversation now and then with "That game sucks", or "I've beaten that already…" which would be followed by some type of strategy. The lunch bell rang, and the foursome went their own separate ways, finding their ways to their next class, or to their lockers.

'14-48-34' Thought Marco as he turned the dial on his locker. It had almost become second nature to him. Turning this dial day after day was an easy enough task. He opened the locker door and began muddling through the items that were placed in perfect order. "Hey." Spinner's voice came from the locker next to him, and he looked over quickly. "Hey Spin, what's up?" He turned back to the locker and grabbed his Pre-Calc book, and then slammed the door, turning back to Spinner. "You okay, dude?" Spinner narrowed his eyes and looked down on the smaller boy. "I'm fine. A little tired, but…y'know, other wise fine, Why, what's up?"

"Nothing, man, you just, haven't been laughing at my jokes lately. Y'know like today, when I was effing around i—"

"I know exactly what you're talking about. Those were just you being stupid. Not jokes."

"What are you talking about, you usually always laugh at those jokes." Marco began walking at a quick pace, and Spinner followed him, trying to stay as fast. "Is something wrong? Is there something up between you and…Dylan?" The name felt forced to say. He had to spit the name out quickly. It came with such annoyance. He didn't like Dylan much. He liked him before he was dating Marco, but ever since _Dylan_ stole one of his best friends away, he had hated him with a deep passion. He never had time to hang out with just Marco, like he used to. It was always Marco Paige himself, and _Dylan_. And when it was, they never talked. Dylan and Marco always talked. When they did talk, it was about _Dylan_. He hated even bringing Dylan up now, it gave the conversation that ability to turn to him. Like _Dylan_ was so perfect anyways. Who needed him? Not Spinner.

"Everything between me and him is fine. Why are you so dead-set on making me laugh in the first place?"

"Because you're my best friend. And you not laughing at the jokes you always laugh at makes me worried? I don't know, am I allowed to be worried about you?" This made Marco stop dead in his tracks. "Don't get an attitude with me, Mr. Snippy Pants."

"_Mr. Snippy Pants_?"

"Listen, I'm fine okay, there's nothing wrong with me."

"Did you call me Mr.Snippy Pants?!"

"_Listen_, it's you I'm worried about."

"What the hell kind of insult is Mr. Snippy Pants?! Man, you are just getting gayer and gayer…"

"God, I can't even **talk** to you anymore…" Marco sighed a deep sigh, and started walking quickly away from him, to his pre-calculus class. "Dude, wait up! Why would you be worried about me?! I'm fine!" Spinner trailed behind like a sick puppy dog.

"Don't you see it? You're getting dumber and dumber as the days go on. You didn't read the chapters last night, and you're slacking in school!"

"What's that got to do with you?" Again he stopped in his tracks. "Because you're my friend, and you failing classes worries me? Am I allowed to worry about you?" He mocked Spinner's voice. "Listen, if you keep this up, you're going to fail English, and then have to stay back. You don't want that, do you?"

"Not really." Marco began walking again, and Spinner followed. "Then you've gotta buck up and start reading and studying."

"I can't do that. I'm not smart like you are." He smiled at this, and blushed inside. 'That was sweet. Wow. One sweet thing Spinner has ever said to me…' "You really think so?"  
'What the hell did I just say? I'm stupid. Keep walking.'

"Well, yeah, Dude. You're smarter than I am. That's why I'm hoping…maybe…you can help me study or something. Like old times! It'll be Spinner and Marco again! Just me and you, today, after school! Who cares that we're wasting a Friday night, we'll have fun!"

"No can do, Spin, Got a date with Dylan tonight." He smiled again, quickly remembering his boyfriend, Dylan. 'That's right, I have a Boyfriend. A lovely boyfriend. I can't think about Spinner like that. Heh…although it is kinda a _fun_ thought. I'll save that for later.' And he did. "Fuck _Dylan_, Man." At this, Marco grinned. "That's disgusting, dude."

"You like it." He grinned again. "Shut up. Man, I can't do anything with you anymore. All you talk about, and all you think about is fuckin' _Dylan_, man. Can't you just take some time away from him?!"

"Sometimes I think about just kissing Dylan."

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT." Spinner was starting to get genuinely upset. His friend kept taking things the wrong way, and kept talking about his "_Perfect_" Boyfriend. He didn't need to hear any of that. _He_ could've been a better boyfriend than Dylan. He was sure of it. _He_ would've treated Marco better, and would've been nicer, and sweeter, and definitely a better lover. But that didn't matter, because Spinner was straight…

"Listen, sorry. How about Saturday? Saturday is Marco and Spinner day. Like old times." He nodded, content with himself, and walked into his calculus class. The bell had rung just after Marco walked in. "Get to class, young man, where are you supposed to be?" A burly male teacher said shuting the door swiftly.

Spinner began walking towards the gym. Although what was the use? He was already late. 'Why's he gotta assume I'm not doing anything with Paige Saturday...'

The bowl clinked and clanged as the chips poured from the mouth of the crinkled silver bag into the blue Tupperware bowl. Spinner looked at the bowl from every angle he could think of, making sure it looked just like a bowl of chips would on TV. He took a lone chip from it noticing that it upset the balance of the bowl, and ate it. "_Perfect_!" He stated at last. His sister raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Spinner, I can never figure you out…." She sighed, and took a chip from the bowl. "NO!" Shouted Spinner, and made an extremely dramatic gesture, throwing his arms down palms up. "You're ruining the bowl, damnit!" She took another chip – just to spite him. "STOP! If you ruin this for me, I _swear_, they won't even find your **shadow**!" She only laughed and strolled casually to the refrigerator to grab herself a soda can. "What's your obsession with making this night perfect anyways? It's only Marco. It's not like it's some kind of _date_, or something…" She shook her head and took a sip of her soda. "I just - Shut up, okay? I'm not gay. I just want…I want things to be like they used to be, y'know? When Me and Marco were best friends. Before that, y'know, _problem_." Spinner began mixing the chips around, hoping, somehow, it would become perfect like it was before. His sister sighed and took another sip. "Things never were like – **this** – Spinner." She said as she took a handful of chips and threw them at her brother. "Besides, his being gay and all, it's not a problem. It's who he is. You've gotta accept that." Spinner had already accepted it. It was nothing new to him. He'd been dealing with Marco – the new Marco – for over a year now. There was no longer any disgust, or fear around him. All those feelings were replaced by the same old natural Spinner feelings: Friendship, Lust, Trust, Acceptance, and even that sense of being brothers, like they used to be. He looked down at the bowl of chips and shook his head. "Things never were like this…" He nodded to himself and put the bowl of chips back on the counter. His sister followed the food, and took a chip, and with food still in mouth said: "Buck up, bud. Things will start coming up rainbows soon." She smiled, and walked back to her room with that, and closed the door, not to come out the rest of the night. Spinner loved his sister. She'd always been there for him to cheer him up in times of distress or confusion.

Spinner heard the doorbell ring over his loud thumping stereo, and stopped tossing clean clothes around. He wanted to make his room a mess, make it seem natural again. A loud thumping was heard at his door, and he checked his hair to make sure it looked fine. "**GAVIN**" Shouted his mother a number of times. "**GAVIN! MARCO IS** ---" The door swung open and there was Marco standing in the doorway. "Here." She said calmly. Marco walked into Spinner's room without any welcoming. He had been here many times before, just not recently. He took a look around, and saw some familiar items, but some new ones were posted about. "Your room is disgusting, Gavin. Clean it. Dinners in 30, I'm making Steak. You like Steak, right Marco?" He spun around quickly and smiled at her brightly, as all teenagers did when faced with their friend's parents. That sort of disgustingly "I'm being nice to you so you can tell him to be like me" sweet smile. "No, thank you, I ate already." She smiled back, clearly being taken in by his charm. "Oh, alright then, Gavin, I'll send something up with your sister when it's ready." He nodded at her and waved to his mother, as if saying good bye and she closed the door.

"Your moms right, Spin. This place is a mess. Worse than it used to be." He picked up a shirt that looked perfectly fine, and hesitantly drew it closer to his nose. "This is perfectly clean, Spin. You shouldn't toss these around jus' 'cause you look bad in them. All you need is a new wardrobe." He laughed, and threw the shirt in Spinner's closet. "Well, you know me…" Spinner laughed weakly. "Always messy."

"Right…" Marco nodded and gave him a disapproving look. "Let's get to work, huh? Where's your math book?" Spinner quickly grabbed his book and laid it open before Marco. "What the hell is this…?" He took a quick look at the questions. Spinner was in a completely different Math program then himself, and he had no idea what they were doing. "See! Even you don't get it!" Spinner jumped, excitedly, proving he wasn't as lazy as Marco made him out to be. "No, just give me a second, I'll get it." He scanned the previous pages quickly and nodded in understanding. "Look, he pointed to the equation before him. It's asking you here to solve the equation d/sin100 88/sin27. So look at it like this, you can't solve that because you have no idea what D is." Spinner kept trying to listen, but what Marco was saying sounded like Chinese to him. All those numbers, all those letters. What the hell did _letters_ have to do with Math in the first place?! Marco took a pencil from his pocket, and began making tiny marks in the book. "Cross multiply these two, so it now looks like dsin2788sin100, then divide the entire equation by sin27 to get D by itself, so what you do to one side, you do to both. So it now looks like D 88sin100/sin27. Now you can – Are you even listening to me, Spin?" He looked down at the oblivious boy who was twiddling with his fingers. "Can you at least listen to me?!" Spinner jumped, obviously not expecting to be shouted at like this. "I'm sorry, I just can't pay attention. Can't we just hang out or something? I don't feel like studying." Marco sighed and closed the book. "Okay…But, we've gotta study later." He dropped the book on the floor, and got up off the bed he was sitting on.

His first instinct was to look at himself in the mirror. He checked his hair, made sure it was fine, and pushed it back, out of his eyes. Spinner watched this intently. He followed _every_ hand motion, _every_ movement, _every_ gesture. Marco took notice to this, as he could see him in the mirror, and continued to do what he was doing, except he "worked" the mirror a little more, making his movements slower, sexier, and seductive. Spinner followed, almost as if hypnotized by his motions. His eyes seemed to be glazed over, and had the look of a wild animal. Marco could see the lust in his eyes, and grinned. He knew this would be coming, he knew full well what this night was really supposed to be. He was clever enough to catch on quickly. He turned around quickly, and began talking a mile a minute, just to break Spinner out and scare him a little. He did this well, as he could see Spinner physically jump from his seat. "I'm hungry, ya got anything to snack on?" Spinner was thrown off by the question, and was slow to answer. "C'mon man, this ain't calculus, here, it's a simple yes or no." Marco's grin was wider than anyone could ever imagine. The games he was playing with Spinner's mind were unbelievably fun. "Yeah, uhh…I'll be right back!" The blonde haired boy got up and ran quickly to the kitchen, slamming the door behind him.

"He's so slow…" Marco giggled to himself. "It'll take him weeks to sort out those feelings." He snorted. He almost felt superior for being able to come to terms with himself so quickly. As quickly as possible, Spinner came back with a bowl of chips in hand. "A bowl, Spin?! Boy, you _have_ become civilized. It's true!" He laughed and poked at his friend. "Hey, shut up!" Spinner caught sight of himself in the mirror, and stopped quickly. "You think my hairs too long?" Marco laughed to himself. "No, I like it long."

"Thanks," He said handing Marco the bowl of chips. "Paige says it's ugly."

"I think it's Cute!" He took a chip carefully from the bowl, and bit into it.

"Paige says I look like those surfer kids." This came out so natural, as if Marco hadn't called him cute. "I think Surfer guys are hot." Noted Marco. "Eh…" shrugged Spinner. "Not my type, being as they're surfer **GUYS**, and guys, y'know, if you haven't noticed, aren't really my type, y'know." Spinner said this so nonchalantly, in such a joking manner, it made Marco burst out into laughter. He smiled. He had made Marco laugh! Things were coming up rainbows, just like his sister said!

"I hate this show…" Spinner changed the channel quickly, flipped through all of the channels he regularly scanned. "Nothing good's on." He said finally, and turned off the TV, then chucked the remote control across the room to his desk. "That's 'cause it's 2h30 in the morning, Spin." Spinner nodded, starring at the blank TV. "Y'know where I haven't been in a minute?"

"Where?" Marco was a little scared by this statement. It meant Spinner wanted to go on some kind of crazy adventure at 2h30.

"The Beach." His eyes lit up, and he jumped up from his sleeping bag, pulling the same pair of jeans he had worn that day over his boxers and bare legs, and pulled on a pair of socks, then began searching for his shoes.

"We are NOT going to the beach, it's 2h30! We'll get arrested or something! Are you kidding me?! It's freezing out!" Marco jumped up and stood in front of the door, as if _he_ would be able to keep Spinner from leaving. Because he was so physically intimidating, oh yes. "C'mon, Marc! It'll be an **adventure**! We'll take my mom's car! We'll HAVE FUN! We'll be WILD NORMAL TEENAGERS FOR ONCE!"

"No, I refuse. Absolutely not. No." He crossed his arms beneath his chest, and laid his left hand over his right arm. "I'll make you!" He jumped at Marco, throwing him to the ground. "STOP! STOP! STTOOPPP!" He screamed, as Spinner put him in a head lock that the smaller boy wasn't able to throw off. "Okay! Okay!" He cried "But you better stop or I'll wake up your mom!" Spinner promptly let go of him, and he ran to put on his tight fitting jeans, and his oh so stylish shoes. They both made their way sneakily down the hall way, making sure not to make any sound. Every step sounded like a thunder crash, every creak sounded like a gun shot, every breath sounded like howling wind. They finally made it down the door and into Mrs. Mason's car, and started it, as quietly as possible, if that is even possible. They didn't know, but they tried to do it as quietly as possible.

The ride was short, but seemed shorter due to the number of good songs playing on the radio. To each one, both Marco and Spinner sang along loudly, both not caring what they sounded like to the other. They arrived at the beach no later than 3h00.

It was cold, and serene. The wind blew hard, and neither of them cared. The sky was clear, but not as clear as they would of hoped. The moon seemed to be a face hidden behind a veil of clouds, and the stars were the white sequins that decorated it's silky fabric. The light from the orb gave them enough to walk by and they did so, down to the shore. They sat on the frigid sand that seemed colder than usual, due to the fact that the water had soaked in. Neither of them cared how dirty their behinds got. The only thing they cared about was the feeling of being young, and being young with your best friend.

It was freezing, absolutely freezing, but Marco was warm. The feeling of warmth came from the protection he felt from being with Spinner. He felt protected, and loved. He felt like he used to, and for once he was happy. Genuinely happy. Like he felt when he was with Dylan. 'Dylan. Crap. I shouldn't be thinking about Spinner like this. I have a boyfriend, and Spinner's my best friend! Being friends is more important, isn't it?! And besides, Dylan is more important, isn't he?! Crap, man.'

"It so nice here at night…" Spinner finally said, breaking the silence. "Yeah…This is where I met Dylan, remember? Man it was- " As soon as he said this, Spinner winced and turned to look to the other side of him. "You always have to bring him up, don't you? Like he's some kind of fucking…I don't know - **saint** – or something." He didn't look at Marco. He didn't even know what he was saying. "Uhh, I don't know what you're ta—"

"Everytime we're together, all you ever talk about is Dylan. Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, **fucking Dylan**!" He got up and shouted the last statement at him. Why was he getting so angry?!

"Hey, whats the problem? Shouldn't you be happy for me? I'm your best friend, I've found someone I'm finally happy with!"

"**Weren't you happy with me**?!" This came out so quickly, Spinner didn't even realize it was his voice. He had no idea what he was saying, or what he meant. "What the hell are you talking about, Spin?" Marco remained calm through out this. He didn't even know what his friend was talking about. Whatever was happening was all Spinner's cogs turning. Things were boiling inside him, and he could see it. "Weren't you happy being friends with me?! I mean, **fuck**, dude! We used to hang out all the time! And then suddenly you started dating Ellie, and then, suddenly, you're gay, and then you're dating Paige's brother?! It's like I lost you in a matter of seconds!" He was pacing the shore now, stopping every now and then to throw a rock into the rough waters. "What? You _lost_ me? Spin, we were friends even after you were an ass to me, what made you think you lost me?"

"The fact that all you do is hang out with him, and talk about him, and gush over him! It's like, he stole you, or something!"

"Is that what you have against him? Are you angry that he 'stole' me from you?" He stood up now, looking Spinner right in the eyes.

"No! Well, -- Yeah, no! YES! He _TOOK_ you from **ME**. **WE** were friends, _WE_ were always supposed to be together, **HE CAME IN SUDDENLY AND JUST TOOK YOU FROM ME**." He was shouting again, but Marco grabbed his flailing arms. "_Listen_. You will always be my best friend. **Always**. Nothing will change that, okay? Are you paying attention?" Spinner nodded. "Good…You finally get something I taught you." He laughed. "That was a joke. Laugh." Spinner smiled slightly and looked away. "See. Like old times."

They sat there, both of them, in the still of the night, throwing rocks into the water and catching up, and thinking about the old times. They walked back to the car when it started to get too cold, and leaned the seats back all the way. "'Night Marc." Spinner said, looking out the sunroof to the stars. "'Night Spin." Marco mumbled, and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

"Hey Marco?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too, Spin. Now shut up, and go to sleep…Mushy bastard…"

The night was calm, and the only noise was the soft sounds of Marco's breathing, and the waves crashing on the shore of the beach. There were no street lights, the only light came from the glowing moon above their heads. Guilt lurked in every shadow, every corner, haunting Spinner, preventing him from sleep. He wouldn't let it get to him, it would never get to him. It hadn't gotten to him yet and it never will. Never has he ever felt any remorse for any action he has taken, _any_ road, _any_ route. All of his actions were justified, and so were these. There was nothing to prove it wrong, nothing to prove him wrong. He had done what he felt, he spoke from his heart, he had spoken the truth. It was just hard to take for some people. They were over it now, there was no need to be guilty. But yet, it continued to eat at him.

He was **cold**. **Emotionless**. **Unkind**, **uncaring**, **hateful**, **fearful** - **angry**. He had a right to be, did he not? His friend, his best friend – had betrayed him. He had turned his back on him, given him the cold shoulder. His actions were justified. There was no need to worry about it now. But why had it mattered so much? If he was his best friend, why was it such a big problem? Why had it mattered? Was he angry? Was it wrong? Was it against everything he had known? Did it scare him? Or was he just _afraid_? Was he _afraid_ of **himself**? Was he afraid of the actions he would take otherwise? Was it all just too much for him? It was all too much for him. Absolutely too much. He could handle it no longer, and he needed to confront something, for once.

Maybe he had been wrong? Is it so bad? Is it so terrible and disgusting to be gay? Was Marco a freak – a monster? If he was, was there something wrong with him thinking so? After all, underneath it all, underneath the skin, wasn't he the same Marco? Wasn't he the same caring friend who had helped him through so much? Why did he have to turn his back on him in his time of need? He had answered all these questions too many times. But was it all the truth? Marco was – still is – a **freak**. He was changed, at some point, and that is that. Is it as bad as Spinner made it out to be? No. It wasn't, but it still is bad. Is it wrong? Yes. Did it scare him? Yes. Was he afraid of himself? **No**. He knew the answer to that one quickly. There was nothing to be afraid of. There was nothing there, nothing lurking in the deepest chambers of his heart. There was no feeling, no love, no care. There was nothing.

**Absolutely Nothing**

But then what is there? There's something there, it just can't be traced. What is it? Is it _emptiness_? Absolutely. If there's nothing there, then obviously, it needs to be filled. The void needs to be filled. But with what? What was it that could fill his heart to the brim? What did he need? He needed love.

But he HAS love. He has Paige! He loves Paige, and she loves him.

Is that enough? Is that enough to fill his cantine? Maybe there was more. He needed more. The love he needed wasn't to be found within Paige. He needed to find this filling love. These stars to fill his night sky.

"You okay, Spin?" All of Spinners tossing and turning had woken Marco up. "I'm fine." He replied dully. "Fine." Marco sighed deeply. He was not fine. "I just can't sleep on this thing. It's uncomfortable." He smacked the seat lightly. "It's getting early." He turned the key towards himself. The green clock radio lit up, and the numbers read 6h50. "My dad will be getting up soon to get to work. We should get back." Both boys lifted themselves up and released the latch to allow the seats to return to their upright position. "You sure you're up to driving? You didn't sleep." Marco's voice was concerned, and caring, just like it had always been towards Spinner. Spinner nodded. "I think I should drive." He shook his head. "You're exhausted, I'm driving." He pulled the handle to the left of him, opening the door with a snap as the latch released, and ran to the other side of the car, opening Spinner's door. "Out." He stated, and made a movement with his hands towards the outside. The taller boy rose slowly, pulling himself up by the edges of the car's threshold, and lazily walked to the other side, slumping in as soon as he reached the seat. The car started, again they tried to start it quietly.

"Wake up you two!" The light switched flickered on and off, and Spinner looked up from his position in a sleeping bag. He had been a gentleman the night before, and given Marco his bed. "Well, that's sweet of you!" Marco had said, and Spinner had blushed. He had blushed, and had beat himself over it later. Why had he blushed? MARCO had just called him sweet. That's disgusting! And come to think of it, Marco had called him cute! What is this? Things are getting too close for comfort. 'This has got to stop' he told himself. Weird things were happening.

"Do you have to flicker those fuckin' lights?" His sister gave him a discerning eye. "Someone's cranky. What time did you guys get to bed last night?" Spinner turned around in his sleeping bag. He unzipped the zipper to the side and stood up, mushing his face with his hands. He turned to the bed, to look at his sleeping friend. He was laying on his stomach, with his cheek resting on his arm. **He was smiling**. Spinner decided not to wake him up. He needed to sleep.

"I don't know about him, but, last time I looked at the clock…it was like 7h50 or some shit." He grabbed a pair of pajama pants from the floor, and pulled them on quickly. "What the hell were you two doing?" His sister laughed loudly, and closed the door, leaving Spinner by himself with a sleeping Marco.

He turned instinctively to the clock. It read 12h28.  
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"Honeybee…" The whining voice was familiar, and loud on the phone's receiver. "Hey Paige…"said Spinner After the routine "Pull-Away-From-The-Ear" move he pulled everytime he heard Paige's voice on the phone. It wasn't that he didn't like her voice. It was just a little annoying on the phone. Only a little bit. Especially when she whined. "You didn't call me this morning!" His eyes twitched a bit. She had just squeaked. Spinner hated the squeaking. "I know, we woke up late, and y'know, I just forgot. Sorry." He held the phone between his ear and his shoulder, using his free hands to toss a nerf football while he laid on his back in his room. "That's alright…So how'd Spinner-Marco night go? Did you have fun?" He feared she'd ask about this. "'Course I had fun." He nodded, even though she couldn't see it. There was silence for a couple seconds. Spinner didn't want to pursue the topic any longer. But Paige did. "What'd you guys do? Did you get any studying done?" He sighed, obviously distressed over this. "No, no studying, Honeybee." He stopped. Silence again. "Well…?"

"We stayed up all night, painted our nails and talked about boys. What else do you think we did?" His voice dripped with the poison that slayed some, and killed others – sarcasm. "Okay, okay – I get it. Boy's night." She giggled, only meaning it as a joke, but those were something Spinner couldn't take today. "God, you make it sound so gay." He sighed. "Excuse me, that was a little rude. _Appologize_."Her voice was demanding. But Spinner just wasn't...Spinner anymore. He shook his head, still knowing she couldn't see him. "I know you're shaking your head at me. Say sorry."

"No." He said plainly. Why was he acting like this? Was there a logical reason? "Someone's got PMS." And then she hung up. What was wrong with Spinner? Why was he being so rude and mean to his girlfriend. He should apologize, shouldn't he? **No**! Why should he? She was rude! She could tell he didn't want to talk about what had happened last night, she didn't have to pursue it. But why didn't he want to talk about it? Because of one reason:

Beyond all stereotypes, beyond all insults, beyond all the negative connotations that came with the word – he had felt -- Gay. And it wasn't for the first time. The bond he had felt towards Marco that night had been incredible. It was more than just a bond of brotherhood. It was more than what happened between him and Jimmy, or him and Craig. It was something he felt only around Marco. It was a feeling of unimaginable happiness. A feeling of incredible jealously, and an insane sense of hopelessness. He felt safe, and unsure all at once. He felt something he had never felt before. He had felt the void being filled. He had felt it for only a brief second. When Marco said "I missed you, too." He felt it. It was heavy, and it was warm. But as soon as he remember why he had been torn from Marco, it was empty again. The feeling had fled, and the emptiness presided. The feeling was worse than he thought. In the deepest cell of his heart he wanted Marco to touch him. He want to feel Marco's hand in his. He had wanted to feel Marco kissing him. He wanted to feel the warmth of Marco's body. It was just so cold, and the warmth would have felt nice.

Why was he feeling like this? Was it wrong to feel like this? Maybe it wasn't so wrong. Maybe there was Absolutely Nothing wrong with it in the first place. Maybe it was natural to feel this way.

No. It wasn't. There was something wrong with him, and it was because he had been spending too much time with Marco. That's why things couldn't be like old times anymore. He had to stay away from Marco or else he'd become like him. He'd change. He'd catch it. He'd catch the disease.

His phone rang again, and he looked to the football shaped receiver. "Hello?" His hellos always sounded like questions, not answers. "Spinner! It's me, Marco."

'Don't give in, Spinner. Don't give in to this fag.' "Hey." It was **cold**. And Marco noticed. "What's up, Spin? You okay?"

"Fine." **Emotionless**.

"Are you sure?" Marco was concerned. He cared - he genuinely cared.

"I'm fine, alright?!" **Unkind**.

"Yeah, uhhh...Alright. Listen, what are you doing tomorrow morning?"

"Something." **Uncaring**.

'Something? What the hell...somethings up.' "You sure you're okay, Spin? You can tell m--"

"I. AM. FINE." **Hateful**.

"Spin, somethings up. I'm coming over."

"No you're not." **Fearful**.

"Too bad." He hung up the phone, but Spinner did not. He couldn't. He couldn't believe he had just been that terrible to his best friend. He had become everything he promised he would never be again. He was back to square one. And he was **angry** - but this time, not at Marco.

**How'd ya like it?! Read it, and review it, please. I need fuel for the next chapter.. Also, constructive critcism I like. Please, please! Also, I update when I can, I have quite a busy schedule.**


	2. Can It?

**Inspirational Song – "Does He Love You" By Rilo Kiley, How Soon is Now by The Smiths**

Marco pulled a pair of pants on as quickly as he could, and ran from his room quickly down the stairs to the kitchen. "Momma, Papa! I'm going out to pick up some…uhh…Last minute project stuff!" He has been lying to his parents for so long now. What's the harm in a little white lie? "Be careful, Marco!" His father shouted back to him, not caring really. He was more interested in the Hockey Game.

What was wrong with Spinner? It had to be something serious. Last night had gone so well, and suddenly he was being rude again? Something had to have been up. Something terribly wrong.

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So many things were running through Spinner's head. Too much for him to handle. To much for him to even begin to sort out. Why had he _helped_ Marco? Why had he helped him get who he wanted? He could have left things the way they were. Why did he have to bring that mother fucker into this GODDAMNED relationship? It could've been him and Marco for ever. He had loved Marco. It was obvious. And it wasn't something he was happy about. He hated himself for it. How could he – Spinner – become a _faggot_? How was it possible? There was no way in hell he would ever act on these impulses. He was going to live a normal life, as a normal man, with a normal family. He would continue dating Paige, and give no attention to any man. Ever. These things can be suppressed, if he only tried hard enough.

"Spin! Spin! Where are you going?" Marco's car pulled up next to the boy who was now walking slowly down the street, starring straight ahead of him. "For a walk." He stopped the car now, and got out putting a hand on Spinner's shoulder. "GET OFF ME." He shouted, and turned around quickly, starring down at the smaller boy. "What is wrong with you, Spinner? What's going on?" The taller boy began walking away as fast as he could. "Don't turn your back on me now!" Marco shouted at him, standing on his tippy toes, hoping that he would be louder if he did so. "I've got to." He shouted back, never turning to look at him. "You don't have to, why do you have to!" He was chasing after him now. Walking slowly behind him, turning back every couple of seconds to make sure his car was still there. "Spinner, answer me!" He sped up to be next to him, and the he just began to walk faster. "Answer me, god damnit!"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH?!" He released his rage quickly, turning to him, and pushing Marco into the steel linked fence next to them. "DO YOU?!" He pushed him again, and Marco screamed in pain. Spinner was much stronger than he was. He wasn't going to try to defend himself. "You just don't understand it." He turned away from him and began walking again. "I don't understand it, Spin? _I don't understand it_?" The smaller boy followed Spinner, tears welling in both their eyes. "You put me through the exact same thing." He turned to look at him and gave him a questioning look. "Oh please, don't give me that fucking look. I know exactly what you're talking about. You have to accept it, Spin. It's not something to pass off." He began walking again. "I don't know what you're talking about" He stated stoically. "Bullshit!" Marco shouted. "That is bullshit. Fucking bullshit! You know exactly what I'm talking about. Spinner, talk to me. If you can't talk to me about this, who can you?"

"I don't NEED to talk to ANYONE." He was crying now. Genuinely crying. For the first time in so long, he was crying. He couldn't let Marco see him cry. It would just prove how much of a fag he truly was. "Please, Spinner," He pleaded "Talk to me. **Please**." At that moment, Spinner couldn't handle it anymore. Things were just getting to be too much. He had only carried the burden for ten minutes, and already, it was too much to hide. He had to come clean to the one person he truly loved. The one person who was always there for him, and will always be there for him. He turned to Marco, fell into him, and began sobbing.

He couldn't believe it. Spinner was bigger than him, so he braced himself, as he caught him, and wrapped his arms around him. "It's okay, Spin. I know…" He comforted him. "It's all okay. Everything's gonna be alright, okay?"

The tears didn't stop for a long time. He cried deeply into his shoulder, not being able to hold any of it back. Marco led him back to his car and sat him down in the back seat, seating himself in the driver's seat, and pulled into the nearest parking lot. He had stopped crying as hard by now, and was wiping his nose with his sleeve. "Awww, don't do that." Marco laughed, and pulled napkins from his glove compartment. He pulled the latch on the door and sat himself in the back seat next to Spinner, whose head fell immediately on his shoulder. "C'mon, Spin. It's not that bad." He joked, but joking wasn't the right thing at this moment. "It is!" He cried and blew his nose in one of the napkins. "It's worse than you think, Marco." Marco took a napkin and wiped beneath the other boy's eyes, and smiled at him. "No more crying, Spin. None. I won't allow it in my car. You gotta smile, now! The worst part is over. Admitting it is the hardest part." He began scrubbing his cheeks now, making sure he was completely dry. "God, I can't believe this…" Spinner sighed. "I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm actually doing this." He laughed, which was a good sign. He was listening to Marco. Marco had been through this once before, and he knew he could trust him. "I know, I know." Marco threw his arm around Spinner, pulling him closer to him. "But you know what?" Spinner looked up at him, "It's better this way. No more lying to yourself. No more lying to anyone else. It's time to come clean. Completely."

No more lying to anyone else. That meant he'd have to tell Paige! How was he supposed to do that?! It was an impossible feat. He could live through this! He wouldn't need to tell Paige! He could just… pretend he wasn't gay! They could last! If he told Paige, she'd tell everyone, and no one else could know! No one! "You've gotta tell her, Spin." Marco's voice broke his thoughts. How did he know what he was thinking? "Remember what happened to me and Ellie? It doesn't work. You've got to tell her."

"It doesn't work like that, though! I've got a reputation! You didn't! Everyone already thought you were gay." Marco laughed, and rolled his eyes. "It didn't matter! But with me, it's different! I'm the asshole who fucked up your life for an entire week, remember?! I'm the asshole who wrote you were a fag in the bathroom!"

"You can't think of it like that, Spin. You've gotta forget all of that crap. Just think of it as a new beginning. It's a new Spinner! A new you!" He laughed, and hugged him closer. "I can't believe I'm doing this…" He said again, and started laughing. Slowly at first, but soon it grew to a hysterical laughter, one that couldn't be controlled. "What?" Marco looked at him like he was crazy. "What's so funny?" He couldn't help himself. He began laughing as well, as if he understood the joke as well as Spinner did. "This all just, too fucking much." Spinner choked out between laughs.

After the laughter died down, they both sat there, silent for a long time, listening to the songs on the radio - the same songs that played the night they drove to the beach. "Hey, Spin?" Marco, again, broke the silence. "Yeah?"

"What do you think about Jimmy?" He laughed, and Spinner laughed as well. He had never really thought of Jimmy like this before, of course, he had, but he had never given it any real thought. "I guess he's uhmm…kinda…cute." The words were forced, he couldn't get them out. It was just too weird. Marco cringed when he said it and laughed. "God that was odd…" He said. "Too weird…" Replied Spinner. Marco pushed on.

"What about Craig?"

"Craig's hott." He noted, and they both laughed hysterically.

"Brad Pitt?" Questioned Marco

"**Gorgeous**!" Shouted Spinner, and again they laughed.

"Oh god, this is so weird! Sean!"

"Eh, he's got potential at least!"

"Dylan?" Spinner didn't answer. He wouldn't. The name brought out so much jealousy, and so much hatred in him.

"Spin?"

"Yeah?"

"What about Dylan?" Spinner didn't look at him. Instead he pulled away slowly. "You don't like him, do you? It's because he uhhh…'stole me' isn't it?" Spinner nodded. "What do you mean by 'stealing me'? Did you mean – uhhh, just as friends? Or uhm, y'know. Like – uhhh… Y'know." The words wouldn't come out. Spinner having a crush on Marco? It was impossible.

'Shit!' Thought Spinner. 'Fuck – Cock – Ass! DAMN!' The expletives could be explained. While in a jealous rage that night at the beach, Spinner had exposed to Marco his biggest secret! He had a crush on Marco! Not just a crush, he was IN LOVE with Marco! Head over heels, madly in love with him! Spinner was speechless. What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to tell him "Yes, Marco! I love you!" Or was he supposed to say that he stole him in a friendly way?! No. This was a new Spinner. A new truthful Spinner. One who never lies. No more lies! None!

"Well – " He started, but stopped. He had no idea what to say. "Y'know, well – Uhhmm…Y'know who like --- uhm. Like…" He still had no idea what to say. He was just stalling. He was stalling and thinking. He tried to think of something, but nothing came to mind. Nothing was right. No words would come to him and he couldn't think of anyway to explain this. Suddenly, kissing him seemed like a good idea. But Spinner's good ideas sometimes were just bad ones wrapped in gift paper. He didn't care, good or bad. This was the new improved truthful…

He leaned in quickly, not thinking, really, and kissed him. His lips were warm, and soft. It was a new sensation, a new feeling like he had never felt before. The warmth he felt on his lips, and the warm heavy feeling he felt in his heart were like nothing he had ever felt before. The void had been filled, the night was suddenly full with stars, his canteen was full. He pulled away slowly and looked straight into the smaller boy's eyes, which searched his own. They were both at a loss for words. Marco's breathing became heavy, and he quickly got out of the car and began walking away.

… stupid, idiotic, impulsive Spinner!

"Marco, Wait!" He shouted. "I'm sorry!" He followed him. It was like a game of cat and mouse tonight. Someone was following someone wherever they went! "I'm sorry!" He repeated and Marco stopped and turned to look at him. "It's not your fault! It really isn't!" Spinner was surprised by this. Apparently Marco was more in tune with his own emotions. He knew how to handle himself. "It's my fault. I should've stopped you, or – or pulled away, or something!" He said quickly, but Spinner shook his head. "It's not that I don't like you, Spinner. It's just that… I've got Dylan, y'know? And, although it's a meaningless relationship now, you've got Paige. We just… we can't be doing this!" Spinner nodded again. He had no idea what to say. "If you need a ride, I'll give you one." Marco began walking quickly back to the car, but Spinner did not follow. "I'll walk, thanks." He called to him, but Marco did not respond. "I'll see you in school on Monday!" Again he did not respond. He just entered his car, and drove away.

"What the hell am I going to do now?" Spinner said out loud to himself, and began walking back home. 'I can tell Paige that I kissed one of her best friends – and her brother's boyfriend. Or I can keep this all to myself.' He couldn't keep it all to himself! He was the new improved truthful Spinner! But the new improved Spinner didn't seem like much of an improvement. He had to lie. He had to lie so as not to hurt anyone. He finally realized, for the first time ever, that his actions had an impact on everyone around him. Dylan – Paige – Marco. They were all directly impacted by his actions.

"So that's it then. A lie to protect someone else can't be bad, **can it**?"

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The music was too loud, and so were the guests. The room was too crowded, and it was much too hot. This party was not well organized. No one knew how many people were going to show up. No one anticipated this many people. There wasn't enough room to move. It wasn't like it was a fun party either. It was an irritating party filled with people Marco didn't want to see. Tonight was just one of those nights. Those nights where nothing seems to be going your way. He and Dylan had just had quite a large fight about privacy, which was started by Marco. He seemed to think that Dylan calling him that night seemed to be a little much. He felt "stifled" and wanted to "spread his wings". Translation: Marco's brain is all fucked up. What was he to do? What was he feeling for Spinner? There was something there, and he knew there was. He just didn't want there to be anything there. He wanted to ignore it, leave it alone. Nothing could happen between Spinner and himself. He had Dylan and Spinner was – well Spinner was _Spinner_. He had ignored Spinner for the past couple of days, and it seemed as if Spinner was ignoring him.

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The music was at that perfect decibel, and so were the guests. The room was empty, not enough people dancing on the floor. Sure, there were a lot of people there, but not as many as Spinner had hoped. It seemed to be a great party, well organized with a lot of people invited. He figured there'd be this many people here. It was going to be an awesome party with awesome people that Spinner was dieing to spend time with again.. It was going to be one of those nights. Those nights where you get piss drunk and forget everything that happened to you. This week had been terrible. Everything had fallen down around him, and it was time to take his mind off of things. He had apologized to Paige, she understood, as she always did. After all, she did owe him money – lots of it. A party is just what he needs. A nice loud party with music and booze to take his mind off of everything that has crumbled before him. He was going to have a great time. Great normal time. Time that didn't involve being gay – with anyone. He didn't want to think about Marco like there. Those times were over – he was going to fight it again. He had Paige and Marco was – well Marco was a _guy_. He had ignored Marco for the past couple of days, and it seemed as if it was killing him! He didn't seem like the same normal Marco any longer! He was unhappy and was slacking on his work! Just the other day he had been chastised for not handing in a very important paper. It was so important even SPINNER handed it in. Spinner had done well at resisting him.

But it didn't feel right. He wanted to be there for him, to comfort him. To tell him "Everything's going to be alright." He wanted to take the smaller boy in his arms and keep him warm. He wanted Marco to laugh again. To smile, and to kiss him – one more time. But it wouldn't happen. And he couldn't let it happen. Ever again.

"C'mon Honeybee! We're wasting precious drinking hours!" Paige's voice rang clear over the loud noise emitting from the hordes of Mongols that had ransacked this usually quiet and normal home. The kitchen was full of loud impatient people. The rule was that once you got your beer from the kitchen, you were to leave it immediately. Make room for everyone else. Most adhered to the rule, but weren't so happy about it, and the edict was usually abandoned by the end of the night – as almost everyone was piss drunk by that point. Spinner had just taken the beer from the boy who was handing them out. He didn't really like beer, but whatever got him drunk quicker he'd take. With beer in one hand, and Paige in the other, he led her to the Patio area. The outside was deceivingly quiet. It was the area sanctioned for making out and for comforting crying friends – two complete extremes. He had every intention to get into Paige's pants, maybe that would take his mind off of things.

Kissing her wasn't the same at all. Her lips felt foreign and the taste of her mouth was absolutely _disgusting_. Spinner couldn't figure out why – maybe it was because of the beer or maybe it was because she was…a **girl**. Suddenly, the fact that he was kissing her didn't seem so appetizing. He pulled back quickly, feeling sick to his stomach, and keeled over fearing he might vomit any minute now. "Are you okay, Honeybee?" Her disgusting voice pierced his ears and made him more sick. He could feel now, that he wasn't going to throw up. It was the guilt that made him sick. It was the fear – the fear that someone might find out that he kissed…a man. He picked his head up and looked past her to see directly behind her.

Directly behind her was Marco. He had been watching them this entire time, and had just caught Spinner's eye. He took his beer bottle and went back inside. His insides gave another twist – another turn – and tied another knot. "Paige we gotta talk…"

"What's wrong?" Another knot.

"NOW."

"We're talking, Honeybee, we're talking!" He shook his head and pulled her farther into the shadows, farther down into the yard, past the dog house, past the shrubbery, next to the fence blocking access to the neighbors house. No one else could hear this.

"Well – uh…I…" He began, but he couldn't continue. Why was this all happening so fast? Why was everything flying by in a matter of seconds? Time had been ticking so quickly! How much of a quitting loser pussy was he? He had been hiding this for what, a week now? Why did he have to give in? It couldn't be this hard the whole time could it?

But in one week it had been this hard. Everything had been so tough to keep in and he just wanted to stand in the middle of the hallway and shout "I'M GAY." But he knew that doing that would lead to his untimely death. Well, not exactly, but something close to it.

"What's wrong?"

It was now or never. He could tell her now, and end everything – both his and Marco's. Maybe they could finally be together, maybe they could love eachother in peace and not have to worry about anyone else.

"I…_Fuck_. Paige – I don't know how to say this – at all. I - …I can't even –"

"Just say it!"

"I - …" His voice got low and hushed "I kissed Marco…"

"You what?"

"You heard me…"

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. You gotta be louder, sweety."

He sighed and shuffled his feet a little. "I – I – I kissed Marco." He was louder this time.

"YOU WHAT?!"

"I KISSED MARCO!" He was shouting now, but no one looked at him. If anyone was around them they were too busy in their drunken states, making out with their significant others. "I HEARD YOU!" Her eyes were wide, and she had this wild look in her eyes. Before Spinner could say another word, she smacked him – hard – across the face. "I can't believe you…" Her words were cruel, dripping with poison, and she stomped off, but she chased after. "Wait, Paige!"

"Wait?! You KISSED my BROTHER'S BOYFRIEND! SAYING MY BROTHERS BOYFRIEND IS ODD ENOUGH – BUT NOW HAVING TO SAY MY _BOYFRIEND KISSED MY BROTHER'S BOYFRIEND_?! DO YOU KNOW HOW ODD AND DAMAGING THAT IS TO A GIRL'S EGO!" The words rang loud across the lawn, and everyone heard now. Lights went on in the neighbor's home, and people were looking at them. "Do you have to be so loud?!" He followed her, and she stopped. "YES. I DO. I want EVERYONE to know that YOU KISSED MY BROTHER'S BOYFRIEND." He put a hand on her shoulder, trying to create a warmth, some kind of connection. "No you don't."

"Yes I do. And get the **fuck** off of me." Her nails dug into his hand as she grabbed it and pried it off of her shoulder. "You don't want to! You're going to ruin other people's lives!"

"You've already done that, thank you! Thanks to you EVERYTHING is all fucked up! Everything natural and right in the order of our tiny little high school! I'm supposed to be dating you – you're supposed to be girl crazy - and Marco is supposed to be dating MY BROTHER! It doesn't seem like that's going to last so long, does it?! You've fucked too much up tonight, Gavin Mason. I'm going…"

"How the hell are you going to get home?!"

"I'll walk!" She shouted, and she disappeared down the street. He wasn't going to try to catch up with her. It was too late now. She was right, everything had been ruined. Dylan's life was fucked up. Marco's life, Paige's and now especially his. He could hope and pray that no one would remember what she had been screaming. It would slip into nothingness with all the other activities the drunkards had taken part in. All the sloppy hook ups – the drunken kisses – and the unconscious blow jobs.

"She's right, y'know" Came the soft voice from behind him. It was monotone, and devoid of any kind of emotion. "Everything's fucked up now. You've ruined so fucking much now." The sound of shattering glass, and the wet feeling of liquid splashing against his ankles. It must've been beer. "You've fucked up so much for me. I had a perfect relationship. You didn't need to tell her, you know. You didn't need to tell her." The tears were too much to hold back now. They flowed freely from the taller boy's eyes. "I didn't need to tell her? You told me I needed to be honest." He turned to meet Marco eye to eye, but as soon as he did, a fist crossed his face. It hurt.

Not physically. No. Marco was physically weaker than he was. A lot. Marco's punch was like a child's, it was nothing. It was the fact that Marco punched him that hurt the most. That hurt more than the punch.

"Fuck you." Marco's voice growled. "Fuck. You. You've ruined so much for me. You have hurt me so much. I don't think I've ever felt this way – EVER. I don't think anyone has. In two days, you ruined my life. Now in a week you've made it worse. I forgave you – I TRIED TO FORGIVE YOU. And you just had to make things worse. I never want to see you – _ever_. Ever again." The sentence finished, and a crack sounded. The sound of Spinner rising up and swinging directly at Marco, and knocking him over. He didn't mean to. He didn't want to punch him. He didn't mean to. It just happened, like so many other things. He had acted on impulses again.

He had made another mistake. "I'm sorry…" He said quietly. "I'M SORRY, OKAY?!" Marco picked himself up. "I'm sorry…" The stress was too much to take. The nerves, the hate, the fear, the love it was all too much. Spinner's knees gave way, and he fell into Marco's arms, for the second time. His arms wrapped around the taller boy's large body, and they stood there, in that warm embrace for so long.

_"You shut your mouth, how can you say I go about things the wrong way. I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does. There's a party if you'd like to go, you could meet somebody who really loves you. So you go, and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home, you cry, and you want to die. When you say it's gonna happen now, but what exactly do you mean? See I've already waited too long, and all my hope is gone.""_  
- The Smiths


End file.
